Today started like any other day.... Get kids up,run out the door to school, but one single phone call has me changed forever. Blake told me dad had a heart attack and I needed to get to Brunswick as soon as I could, as he was critical. Time stops. The world stops spinning in moments such as these. I have spent the day crying, being strong for my mom, back to weeping with worry for my daddy, back to being strong for my mom....
So here I sit, in a room with ventilators, balloon pumps, and numbers I know nothing about, holding my precious daddy's hand and praying for a miracle. I have tried to pray as many ways as I can, healing power, lots of strong words claiming healing.... My words to God comfort me knowing He hears each one, but my worry deepens with each moment that passes. When the dr talked to us today I saw concern and worry in her eyes. She spoke words of hope, but I saw worry. Then I got to see him. It is a moment I never wish to live again. I pray the next time I look into those eyes they are full of life and joy. The moment I saw him my worry became a huge fear and then something washed over me. It was a wave of peace and comfort. I looked into those brown eyes again and I saw him. I saw he was still in there. I gained new hope. So this began the endless praying again. I sit and pat his leg or hold his hand and pray. Those precious hands still hold a little gold wedding band am do can smile a little. He would hate all yhis fuss about him. He would be telling us all go home. He would be telling me to take care of mom.
So here I sit, praying and hopeful. If Godis calling my daddy home I will know he has lead a good life. I will know they last thing I said to him was that I loves him. I will know I never gave up faith in his healing, but maybe sometimes God has plans for us we don't understand. But maybe just maybe, God is healing him. I feel a strong presence in this room tonight and I have a strong prayer force out there for us tonight. Each and every prayer is felt here tonight. Through the darkest valleys we feel God's presence the strongest. I can feel it here tonight.
Harold Sartin, I hope you read this one day. I hope you get to find out that all three of your children came to your side just as soon as our cars would get us here. We took care of our mom as best we could. We fed her, medicated her, and sent her home to bed just like you would tell me to. And I sit here with you becuse there is not one darn thing on this earth that could tear me away right now. You would be so mad at all the fuss, but right now we just need to fuss about you. I want to see your eyes lit up with life. I want your hand to squeeze mine back. I have faith in healing power and maybe just maybe we can chat about it someday.you've worked your entire life to protect us and take care of us. Tonight I just state at you and think of how strong you are. You are a fighter and I am praying that Sartin spirit fights through. I love you so very much and am honored to be your daughter.
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